


To Love and Serve the Lord

by orphan_account



Category: Home Improvement (TV), Soul Man (TV)
Genre: Crisis of Faith, Religion, faith - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-19
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 00:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"[Elaine] had always seemed so full of life... was she simply hiding her feelings?"</p><p>Set post-"Losing My Religion". In which Randy attends service at Fr. Weber's church, and questions his own feelings and beliefs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Love and Serve the Lord

**Author's Note:**

> Been trying to finish this for at least a couple years. ^^; I finally tacked an ending on to it. I'm not sure how well done it is, but, alas... here we go.

“Lord, I am not worthy to receive you; but only say the word, and I shall be healed”.

Looking up from his clasped hands as he knelt on the cushion in front of his pew, Randy glanced down to the front of the church. The choir shuffled out of their seats, forming two lines, served by Father Weber and Todd, with Al and another member of the congregation garbed in white robes, holding wine chalices. Words were softly murmured, exchanges of blessings and responses as communion wafers were given, and a sip of communion wine allowed.

Randy bit his bottom lip. He hadn't wanted to come to the service before. There were a lot of things in this world he had been questioning – lack of ethics in corporate America, hypocrisy in organized religion, the problems with health care. Spending time with Elaine had only heightened his instinctual curiosity. The doctors had diagnosed with her cancer three years ago, told her she only had six months to live. Somehow, she had managed to stay so strong and hold on, in spite of it. Then...

_“I'm sorry, honey, she took a turn for the worst.”_

Without warning, Randy had been shut out of Elaine's life. She didn't want visitors – it made sense, though, as he thought of the stories she told from her days on the road, driving the eighteen-wheeler: she had spent her life flitting from one job to another, before she could become attached, before eventually settling down. Her son and daughter had invited her to live with them in their respective states, but she had refused. Perhaps she didn't want anybody to see the pain she was in? She had always seemed so full of life... was she simply hiding her feelings?

Randy would never know, now. During the intercessions, he had offered up a prayer to her, and hoped, if God was up there, that maybe he would at least look out for her. Somewhere, voices sang, “Christ's are the folk we're summoned to love.”

Activity next to him returned him to the present, where his mom and dad were sidling out of the pews and backwards to allow others out in front of them. Randy got to his feet, and joined them in the queue.

At the front of the church, Father Mike knelt down as Meredith stepped forward. She closed her eyes, dipping her head, hands clasped in front of her. But there was a smile as his hand rested atop her head.

“Our Lord Jesus Christ bless you, and keep you in eternal life,” said Father Mike.

“Amen.” She whispered back and solemnly walked back to her seat next to Freddy, who had received the same blessing.

Looking up at the queue, counting, Mike noticed the younger boy with the Taylors. He looked so... lost. Tim had related to him what had happened at the hospice, following up from the advice he'd given Tim after being asked about his youngest not wanting to attend church. Mike had been impressed by the lad's volunteering, but... he also knew only too well how hard it was to lose someone, no matter how long you had known them for. That sting was going to be there for a while. He sort of hoped it didn't discourage the boy from involvement in the future...

Glenda came forward, crossing herself as Mike returned his attention to the queue. Making a cross in the air with the wafer, he murmured, “the body of Christ,” and placed it in her hands. “Broken, for you.”

It didn't take long before Randy was finally face to face with the priest at the head of the line. He stared down at his hands as he came forward, not entirely sure if he could stomach taking the wafer. It wasn't fair – what kind of God let people die or suffer horribly, anyway? Fr. Mike made the sign of the cross with the communion wafer before depositing it into his hands. “The body of Christ,” the priest told him gently. Then, Fr. Mike's hand came to rest atop Randy's head. It was warm, heavy, and... kind of comforting. He looked up, meeting Mike's eyes. Fr. Mike looked concerned, but, nonetheless, he offered Randy a small smile, and added, “broken for you.”

Looking at the wafer in his hands, Randy let the lyrics from the choir, and Father Mike's words, wash over him.

_...To the lost, Christ shows his face..._

When Randy had asked what had changed his dad's mind, he had been told about the advice Father Weber had given to his dad.

_… To the unloved, Christ gives his embrace..._

He had cited the closing words of any Episcopalian service, “go in peace to love and serve the Lord”, pointing out that volunteering was Randy's way of doing exactly that.

_… To those who cry in pain and disgrace, Christ makes with his friends, a touching place._

Meeting Fr. Mike's eyes once more, Randy returned his smile. “Amen,” he murmured, moving on past the priest, and slipping the wafer into his mouth. A server offered a silver cup.

“The blood of Christ, shed for you.”

Taking a sip of the offered wine, Randy reflected on the words of the hymn, the benedictions given over the bread and the wine. 

_The body of Christ, broken for you. The blood of Christ, shed for you. To the lost, Christ shows his face… Christ gives his embrace… Christ makes with his friends a touching place…_

As Randy took his seat, he leaned forwards to rest his clasped hands on the back of the pew in front, closing his eyes. Despite how he might have felt about organized religion, he quietly wondered as he glanced down the aisle at Fr. Mike, if somehow, from somewhere, the comforting love and kindness would also enfold Elaine, and – even if it didn’t make her better – at least… help her not to feel so alone. 

As much as he understood her impulse to shut people out, to mask her pain… He hoped she wouldn’t have to be on her own… and that maybe, as Randy had given his heart, and as Elaine had given guidance and friendship, they had shared in a sort of communion of their own.

The congregation was getting to its feet. Randy had barely noticed how long he had been lost in his thoughts. Father Mike raised his hands and blessed the congregation, before finally intoning: “The Mass has ended.” 

There was a pause, and then: 

“Go in Peace - To love and serve the Lord.”

_Thanks be to God._

**END**


End file.
